| þ®äýåg 的个人资料Beyond The Light......日志 |  工具  帮助 |
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3月22日 This Blog Is Shutting Down. Since I have finally moved on to using a new msn id, maintaining this blog is getting quite irksome. As much as since the past two years this blog has given me much solace and personal joy, has been my outlet, it saddens me to actually stop posting here. Yes, I will not delete this space, but I shall just not post here henceforth. I'll probably hunt for a platform where I can continue confiding about my misadventures in abandon. I was reading the first post ever that I blogged on Beyond The Light and it made me smile as I realised how much I have changed. This blog will always remain here, as a pleasant memory of who I was, 2 years ago. I'm getting sentimental now so I shall stop. I'll post the link to my new blog soon(and that shall be the final post), once I find a location that satisfies my standards.
Warm wishes,
Prayag. 1月29日 I'm 20!!OMFG I am 20 FINALLY!! This basically means that my teenage is FINITO. No I did not die of devastation or succumb to a nervous breakdown. I was perfectly fine with it. We went shopping on the 23rd, went out to dinner to bring in my fantastic birthday, cut a cake at home, I received super presents AND I got obscenely drunk, *cringes*. So basically I dont want to type about the getting smashed out of my face part for the plain reason that it was embarrassing. Okay so now for the MOST IMPORTANT PART a.k.a PRESENTS. So let me divulge to you, what I received from who:
Porus got me the bestest presents (doesnt he always? lol) . He DESIGNED a shirt for me and got it stitched and all that. Its so divine I couldnt contain myself with all the excitement and everything. I dont want to describe how it looks since I fear ruining the effect. H also got this super perfume I wanted, Gentlemen By Givenchy. It was on my wishlist, so thats one more down. Thankyou so much Porus, you are always the bestest. *smiles*
Sheila (and her boyfriend Yusuf) got me Happy For Men by Clinique. I love that too.
Apart from these 3 items, Porus indulged me when we went shopping the day prior to my day. What will I ever do without im God only knows lol.
My birthday cake was Chocolate Truffle.
Ummm... that was it I guess? The main day a.k.a 24th was spent in bed, sleeping and recuperatng from the BAD hangover. ugh.
Conclusively, I enjoyed my brthday, which is a good sign. Those worries of ageing are gone. yay!
Apart from the birthday, flying is going slow, though good. I cant wait to hurry up and finish. But then, patience is the key.
Things in general are good here. I'm happy. heh.
I must leave now, the weather's super windy outside and I want to go stand on the balcony maybe.
Prayag. 1月22日 3 Days For My 20th Birthday.So 3 days more to be 19. *gasps* good grief 2007 passed by swiftly. I'm terrified. lol. I think I'm gonna have a britney-breakdown.
Okay superb exaggeration, but yeah whatever you know. Breakdown all the same.
Porus is coming tomorrow! Yay! Finallllllyyyyyyyyyy, this 3 weeks of being on my own will cease. Pah. So fucking sickening. I hated every moment of it. Damnit.
Okay so here's a shocker, as my beloved loyal fans will remember, I had stated in an earlier blog that my flatmate Rayomand and I can never go beyond being casual acquaintances. Well surprise surprise (atleast for the time-being)! Since the past 2-3 days we've been talking a lot and I discovered he can be quite a nice person to talk with. lol. Me and my assumptions in life. So far so good though. Even though my instincts and my mind tell me to be super careful with everyone here in Addison (refer to my previous blog about my paranoia and reason to feel like this), sometimes I feel that my future lies in trusting others again. But fuck that shit, Porus is all I have here to bank upon and everything, I dont really need anyone else. I mean, lets just see how it all goes. blah.
In other news, the food is over. Which means, in this fuck-all weather I have to go to walmart, pick up groceries, and return. I also need to go to the bank and et my debit card organised. Stupid dumb bank cant do one basic job straight. Arseholes.
I realised I despise the people-pleasing escapist variety. For some reason their functioning and mindset is too despicable for my taste. I wonder how will they survive. I also realise I hate anything and anyone that/who doesnt abide by me. LOL.
Ummm and so the days in Addison go on... the past 3 weeks have SUCKED. It will get better tomorrow evening onwards I'm sure. hehe.
Sometimes I wonder what would I do here if Porus wasnt around. To be on my own, with new people, is , DAUNTING. But thank God I've been spared that torture. Effing Rubbish.
I feel like going out someplace, shopping big time and also eating out. I am tired of this self-created house-arrest. LOL. I just need company and initiative to go out. Speaking of shopping, we were suposed to go to this place called Allen on the 23rd a.k.a Wednesday to shop shop but now my instructor scheduled a flight for me on the 23rd at 12.30 till 2.30 . So I dont know if its too late to leave for Allen then. Worst case scenario I'm trashing the Allen plan cuz my flight is more important than anyone else. I know I will be compensated for this good action. LOL.
More than anything, I know I am repeating myself for the 3rd or 4th time maybe but I'm SO excited that porus is coming back!! Its like I'm finally gonna be freed from this loneliness and boredom bullshit. Its really fucked my case badly thats why I'm ECSTATIC.
I was thinking the other day about how I absolutely LOVE making scandalous and obscene statements for SHOCK VALUE. I dont know, but I get such an intense kick out of it hahahaha... its true!! Why this desire to shock; fails me too.
You know what one of my future ambitions is? To make all that money, breeze in to the D & G store, swipe swipe swipe, breeze out. I must have already shared this with Porus, Pinka & some others but yeah. I want ferragamo shoes, Valentino suits, Miu Miu shoes and socks, Gucci luggage, A Breitling watch, etc etc. I think thats gonna be my personal fulfillment wishlist. I want holidays in St. Tropez, Dom Perignon avec Beluga Caviar. *sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
*Recovers from the gravity of the wishlist*, as of now, I am happy to just set my career up, and remain satiated with that.
I want to ask Lori a.k.a my amazing fabulous intructor what her opinion on Paris Hilton is. It intrigues me to know what the opinion of a normal american on our darling Paris is.
Speaking of Paris and her antics, I'm shocked to know of Jamie Lynn Spears and her pregnancy! *gasp*. But you know what, if she is okay with it, then who the f*ck are we to sit and create such a hulla-baloo. But I guess thats human nature. We love over-reacting to things. But still I feel personally, that 16 is wayyyyy too young for motherhood. I mean at 16 you need a lot of mothering yourself. Lol. Anyway I sincerely wish the best for Jamie Lynn.
Sometimes I get this weird feeling that my bathroom is haunted. I'm serious. Something is very weird about that place. There are
these noises in the tub when I'm soaking in it. Like strange whining noises. It scares me.
I've been so out of touch with the television and the newspaper that I'm completely unaware of whats happening in the world outside darling Addison. Which is DAMN GOOD. Aleast I'm at peace. Cuz when I found out about Benzair Bhutto's assasination I was devastated. I dont want anymore rude shocks. I'm happy in this sanctuary. phew.
I gotta go now. I wanna shower and eat. Shall update very soon!
PS: 24TH JANUARY IS MY 20TH BIRTHDAY. JST REMINDING YOU INCASE. LOL
Prayag.
1月17日 I Flew! & My Usual Update.1..2...3....I FLEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woot Woot!! What a feeling! It happened on the 11th of jan. I'm sorry I didnt update earlier I just didnt feel upto it. Anyway so flying has begun and am done with 3 flights so far. I'm so happy, I'm finally doing what I wanted, what I fought for, *dazzling eyes*.
I love flying. There's nothing else I ever wanna do. PERIOD.
I dont want to elaborate too much about it, for I feel it will reduce the gravity of the situation. So I'll leave it at that.
I'm well. Things are going okay. I've somehow managed to pass the days since Porus left in one way or another. Its so boring and lonely here but then I know I can handle it perfectly. For some reason suddenly I have issues in trusting those whom I thought were nice people. Its just that feeling you get inside, all of a sudden, that maybe the person you thought was nice and everything is REALLY not like that. For some vague reason I feel everyone here is concealing a hidden agenda/motive, that maybe if I let my guard down then harm will befall me. And I cant let that happen. So as of this moment, I have built my walls of defense against the concerned parties.
Loneliness at one point a few days back really got to me but slowly I've gotten used to it. I cant wait for Porus to return though. It will be back to the fun and frolic then. I feel that noone except him can be completely trusted here. I dont mean to point fingers or accuse anyone, but then its just me and how I feel/think about things.
My 20th birthday is fast approaching. As the clock ticks away I feel this sense of urgency and intense emotion inside of me. I dont know why I am taking this so badly but for some reason the thought of being 20 upsets me so much. I'm not being dramatic or fake here, I genuinely feel this way. One more year down. Good lord.
My daily schedule remains unchanged. I wake up around noon, fix tea, eat, sit online, bathe, sit online, study, sleep. It sickens me at times, but then hey, I can get through with it. I feel I ought to start cooking soon. Microwaving food on a daily basis is shit. I hate it. I'm gonna start cooking for sure.
Sometimes I cant believe that I'm FINALLY in the US. Its all so sudden and complicated. It has not hit me. It just never did. Weird huh? Tell me about it.
I realised how dependent I am on this blog to keep my sanity intact. Pouring my heart out (most of it) here lessens the trivial/huge burdens that I carry. It feels good. Really good.
Apparently there are chances of snowing tonight, snowing in texas is a rarity, but nothing like it if it does. That would be a nice sight, I'm guessing.
I'm yet to go fix myself some dinner. Its such a putoff to open the fridge and find the usual chicken-ham-bacon-turkey-rubbish. I tend to drink more water than anything else.
I think in a way, these days of solitude have been good for me. I got to spend time with myself, with no worries gnawing at me. Everything is so extremely peaceful that it amazes me. Ofcourse, there are the times when I suffer from my bouts of anxiety, worry, depression, the usual mood swings, but then the point is that all of those have been greatly reduced. Sometimes I feel that nothing in life is greater than life itself. But then again to live with that mere thought wont really work much of a wonder. One needs to work and thats what I'm doing. It amazes me, how I started this whole aviation thing back in Bangalore in 2006, and where I finally got myself today. Curled up in my bed between the blankets, I feel satisfied with all that i have achieved. Even though there are loads of people out there who got what they wanted the highly easy way, I know for a fact that I'm not god-forsaken either, infact I have had the luck which not many have had. But then, none of this would have been possible if it wasnt for me, perseverance, patience, belief and some great people who stood by. Thank God for them, really.
The 3 flights I flew have been good so far, the instructors are pleased, I just hope it goes on the way it is. The best part is when I speak on the radio. lol. Cant wait for the next flight. I'm so thrilled with flying, I cant believe how all this happened. Its all so crazy and everything but then maybe thats the way it was supposed to be!
In other news, mother called up today to inform me about the dispatch of the forex card and also that she was busy packing. She's packing because she's going on a holiday to where father is posted. She leaves on the 18th morning IST. The conversation lasted approx 8 minutes. I must have spoken to her after 5 days. Its always like that.
I wonder how Czar must be doing. All of this, and life in India, the people, all of it just seems so extremely distant. No you idiot I didnt mean it in a geographical sense, even though thats true too, but that wasnt my point. Point being, that it all seems like an old memory. I feel secure here, believe it or not. I feel like I have left all my troubles behind. And that this place has offered me sanctuary, so that by the time I return, I will have recovered enough to face it all over again. I dont think it could have gotten any worse than it was. I have faith, that things will sort themselves out for me and whatever is meant for my good will surely happen, and that more misery shall not befall me, for I have had more than enough of my share.
Even though at times it irks me because I cant reveal my deepest thoughts here on this blog, since its public, sometimes the temptation to privatise it is highly intense. But then again, that spoils the fun for all of you "prayag's blog's devotees". shyt.
I asked Porus once here in Addison a few days ago, that when he looked into my eyes what did he see? And he told me that he saw a lot of sadness, but then he said that he could see it fading away. I was stunned. Isnt it crazy how our eyes are a major giveaway? I always thought that facades were easy to wear but hell no.
To be very honest, I would say that its not that I am unhappy, for I am content and happy here. But still sometimes I experience moments of such extreme grief and bitterness that I feel I will die if it lasts for even a minute more. But then, it passes, like all other moments. The consolation is that it doesnt tend to dominate me THAT often as it used to in the past, for obvious reasons. I guess I'm on the road to recovery from all the madness that happened. I am, in general, and to conclude, at peace and satisfied with life at present. I fervently wish for this to carry on, and for it to not end, though its intensity may, for the balance has to be created.
Having typed so much, I will stop. Yes, I shall take care, stay positive and update soon.
Prayag. 1月10日 F*ck-all Schedule, New Laptop & The Amazing Ramble.So basically its been ages. I'm listening to Sexy Boy - Air. No i dont feel really sexy today. Reason being its really cold and my first flight which was supposed to have happened today, got cancelled due to bad weather. No I shall not take this superstitiously and succumb to devastation. I have my flight tomorrow and the weather is gonna be good so all's well. Apart from that not much is up. I have settled down here in Addison quite well. Its boring though, atleast for now. Porus and Sheila are in Bombay. Sheila's boyfriend Yusuf is here though he lives in the other apartment with the hampsters. My flatmate Rayo is in a world of his own, which I am too. I dont reallly wanna crib or bitch here, because I dont want anyone reading my superb blog and be mortified at reading stuff about himself. Anyway, so my average day since Jan 5 2008 is like this:
Wake up-make my bed-fix myself coffee, breakfast cum lunch consisting of: 1 croissant, 1 turkey and chicken sandwich, one piece of sponge cake-one hot pocket(its this thing made of ham and cheese stuffed within some bread-like thing-after all that, I wash the vessels-sit online-go run the water and sleep in the tub-take a shower at full blast-come out-preen in front of the mirror-sit onine again-mutter to myself-meet yusuf/maybe not- I hardly see Rayo, he's a nice guy and all that but we're nothing more than casual acquaintances, it suits me fine-so I sit online for a little while more-study-sleep.
Sigh. i cant wait to start flying. Atleast there will be something to look forward everyday. I hate this isolation. Its not that I'm anti-solitude or anything, but I'm just not in the mood for it. Sometimes I feel that everyone just cares about themselves and their convenience. Well maybe I am like that too, not sure. Its so annoying.
I really really hope I succeed in getting that commercial pilot license and finally doing MYSELF proud. I am not interested in whether others are proud of me or not, because the only person whose opinion ultimately matters is mine. I want Porus and Sheila to return quickly. Maybe thats selfish of me, but what the hell, all of us are selfish, atleast I'm public about it. I dont know why I'm justifying each and every statement of mine here but yeah thats whats happening and I dunno why.
I love addison. I love this place, its so calm and peaceful here. Its not some scenic wonder but its not an eyesore either.
My 20th brithday is fast approaching. 2 weeks are all I have left to be 19. I honestly DO NOT want to get older. They say "you are as old as you think you are" and all that shit-shat, but still, I just wish I would not age. My teenage is finally going to be FINITO. Not like I really had a memorable teenage but yeah whatever, thats not the point. Maybe I can cover up the tragedy by proclaiming how loads of birthday presents will cover my grief, but honestly I cant imagine I'm experiencing an ageing crisis SO EARLY in life. ugh. Someone help me with this nonsense.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have perfect relations with my parents. I dont wish to put them down or say they have failed, for no parent is perfect. They did the best they could have. I'm sure they think they did a fabulous job, though i think differently, and vice versa, but then to each his own. The point is that things are not "very perfect" with them. A volatile relationship, thats what I call it, with my parents, really. I think when I'm away from home ,things are generally very peaceful and cordial. Its a tragedy of sorts, sometimes I'm seized with this intense panic about who I will have around me after their time, you know, everyone may say its too early to think of all that, but still, never know. Its quite a chilling thought, of sorts. Its not like I regret about how it is, but then maybe this is how it was meant to be. I guess thats fine, as long as eveyrthing is cordial, peace is mine.
So apart from this, I got a new laptop! Its an HP dv9420us. I'm so pleased with it, we get along really well. lol. No I swear, its a brilliant model, just like me. Both of us are all glam-sham, shiny and super looking.
I realised I'm tired of eating refined flour based food and other bread related products EVERYDAY. I also realised that I want someone to COOK for me - ASAP. I also discovered my latest stress and boredom-buster: CLEANING. Its super duper therapeutic!! You all mortals have to come see our room now. Before it resembled a low-society garbage dump, the previous occupant (I will not take names) was an utterly disorganized individual (apart from being a bossy idiotic arsehole, ofcourse I threw major attitude on his face and acted like an UBER BITCH towards him, that shut him up, ok I'm losing my point), how such people exist I fail to understand, but anyway, I took it upon me to clean the whole damn place up, tidy it, vaccum it, arrange everything, put in our things, and VOILA! Welcome to our (porus and I live together in it) room!! Why are people so messy and disorganized?! I really dont get it, I HATE IT when I see untidy people. It drives me mad, but then I cant say anything, for one must learn to co-exist. *sigh*.
Yusuf has affectionately christened me The Divine Bitch. lollllllllllllllllllll. Thankyou, Yusuf, *bows and adjusts Divine Bitch crown on my head before I continue*. So basically Yusuf and Sheila apart from Porus, are people I am compatible with. Thank god for small mercies. For once I decided to step down from my pedestal and be friendly. haha. No really, Its not that I hate being termed a cocky snobbish bastard, infact it really pleases me when people term me that, but still, I cant really be a cocky snobbish bastard here to everyone you know. And anyway it doesnt hurt to be friends with people who are sane.
The thermostat in this apartment needs a tight slap. Because it doesnt function properly.
I'm listening to Rasputin by Boney M and now I feel really jumpy. Thank god for Boney M, hahahahahahaha oh fuck I love them so much. I think I'm in love with Kylie Minogue now. After I saw her banned Agent Provocateur advertisement on YouTube (pssst, you need to sign in and be over 21 to view that video, I lied about my age so thats how I saw it teehee, for once I wasnt paranoid of being over-age). What a video! W.O.W! No it did not "turn me on" or anything but it was really racy and sexy. Priyanka you can find some inspiration there. I also activated the Agent Provocateur screensaver. Its relle cool. Sadly they dont have a store in texas. Bloody. Not like I can buy anything from there for myself but no harm in going and seeing the place yeah?
Apart from all this bloody tosh, there is really nothing else of much significance. Apart from my instructor Lori, I think. No, Lori is a SHE, I'm sorry I have to point that out because my darling mother thought Lori was a man (I duno how she came to that conclusion). So basically Lori Martens is 27, funny, shrill, and smart. She asked me if I knew how to perform division, which obviously flabbergasted me and then made me burst into peals of laughter. I like Lori, she drops me home and compliments my dressing sense and everything. I think I like everyone who compliments me. Lol. Its true! I'm such a classic narcissist. sigh. What will become of me, dear lord. *gasp*
I better stop here, I'm overdosing on boredom. I'll update tomorrow and describe how my first flight went in great detail!
Prayag. 1月3日 Happy Birthday Porus!Ok, ima come back from the dinner and post an update, but for now let me just dedicate this post to Porus a.k.a Birthday Boy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PORUS! 22 FINALLY! I HOPE THIS YEAR GIVES YOU ALL THE GLAM AND SUCCESS/HAPPINESS YOU WANT! I ALSO HOPE THAT BY THE TIME YOU ARE 25 GOD PROVIDES YOU WITH FREE BOTOX SHOTS. HAHA I'M MESSING. ANYWAY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY TO YOUUUU!!!!!! :D
Prayag. 12月26日 1 Week Later, Happy Birthday Priyanka & The Usual.Week 1 is over. So far so good. My mind is swirling around so many thoughts and fantasies that its hard for me to even focus on something . I really really hope flying starts fast, I cant wait to get busy. There's good company here. Porus is here, Sheila this girl whom I didnt really like in the beginning,turns out be quite the funny chiquitta and her boy Yusuf is another nice & sane person. Mother Promise! lol. I dont really want to bitch about anyone here because I fear that since my blog is publically accessible I dont want to invite trouble if the concerned targets end up reading this post. So, umm, everyone is nice here. *looks around shiftily*
Merry Christmas to you by the way. I'm sorry I forgot to wish you at the start of this post. So, as a christmas present if I should consider it that way, Porus gave me Escada Sentiment. *gasp*. This courthip with products, dear lord, when will it ever end?! *falls to the floor and looks at the stars beseechingly*.
The weather here lingers between 1 degree to 13 degrees. Which doesnt really matter as long as I'm indoors. The problem starts when I step out to go someplace. The weather molests me so much that I cant even cuss cuz I'm gasping for breath and running as fast as I can. Some very nice things I noticed here in the US is that there is no DUST anywhere. The air is C.L.E.A.N. Its so rejuvenating. I realised I'm obsessed with cleaning things. i duno why but it gives me the deepest joy and satisfaction in cleaning things up. Today Porus & I cleaned the kitchen. I felt so content. I also liked the fact that it was MY effort due to which the mess and filth was removed from the face of this kitchen. Sigh. Thank God for me.
So today is the 26th of december 2007 in India, which is my darling friend Priyanka Joseph's birthday.
Dear Pinka,
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!!! I hope your day and your year goes briliantly. I wish happiness, peace and success to be bestowed on your bosom. lol, sowie, couldnt stop myself there. So as I was saying, I hope you get hotter, sexier, more buxom, wiser, do well in your dental course, have imnumerable men lust after you, get loads of amazing fantastic clothes, shoes and bags, and FINALLY, that you still remain the awesome entity that you are. love you. XOXO
That was sweet I feel. No really, dont you think so too? if you dont then close this window and drown yourself. Rascal.
One thing I realised since I've been here is that our daily diet is not even balanced nor consistent. I duno how I'll survive. At the rate at which things are going, I feel I'm gonna shed my weight in no time. NO I AM NOT FAT. I'm 70 kg and my height is 179.5 cm. So my BMI is ideal. I just dont want to be underweight, you know.
So basically last night when we were returning home, the bus driver asked me for a christmas present. Even though we laughed it off and I guess she was kidding, but suddenly I'm possessed with this sudden urge to buy her a christmas present. With no ulterior motives by the way.
I was busy dying of a sore throat since the past 4 days, thankfully now its subsiding, to be followed by the cough and the cold etc,. CONCLUSION: Viral is the biggest bitch ever on this planet.
I guess because I have not commenced flying yet maybe thats why I feel immensely bored. Sometimes I dont know what I want from my life. There are these moments I have, they could be while I'm in the shower, while Im eating and laughing with people; I guess being a master of facades is HARD. But then thats the story of a lotta people's lives huh? *sigh*
Chucking this melancholy and grief, I feel fit to say that at the end of it all, I'm sure things will sort themselves out. Everything is so juxtaposed. It confuses me. Maybe tats why the sudden sadness.
Thankfully my ACTUAL/SEVERE mood swings have not struck since I've come here. maybe is the whole thing of being surrounded by people that leaves hardly any space for introspection even though there are moments of speculation, intense rage, etc etc. This melodramatic side of me is really the weird one. I dont quite know what to do with it. Maybe I ought to preen in front of the mirror everytime I feel this way. The feel-good factor which my reflection bestows upon me is magical. haha.
Okay, so before I confuse you even more, and make your mind conceive doubts about my persona, I shall stop. I need to call pinka, eat, dream, scrutinise, satiate my never-ending doubts, and feel spectacular. Night.
Prayag.
12月21日 A Poem By Thomas GrayThe following is a poem by Thomas Gray..I found it quite haunting so thought of posting it here..
To each his sufferings; all are men,
Condemned alike to groan,
The tender for another's pain,
The unfeeling for his own.
Why should they know their fate,
Since sorrow never comes too late,
And happiness too swiftly flies? 12月20日 He's Finally Here!!!*Enacts melodramatic sequence* I'm in Texas finally!! I love the weather, I love the place. Since the past 24 hours that I've been here, I've observed that everything is so organised here. Almost mechanical. Which is good, I think. lol. The flatmates brought me doughnuts as a welcoming gesture. Nice people do exist. LOL. I gotta speak to the flight school's rep soon about my formalities etc and I just wanna go fly now and get done with it. Meanwhile I also wanna have a blast and get myself a lot of stff and be superbly fantastically amazingly sexily brilliant.
Thankfully I have not faced jetlag issues which is a good thing. Both the flights were BAD. The food was a culinary tragedy and the flight attendent were "back from the dead". Old, fat, wrinkled, UGLY.
The thought of flying a plane and the various technicalities that go into it seems a little daunting and formidable to me. But I guess I will be fine with it once I get accustomed to it. Sigh. Cant wait.
I'm still not at ease with the whole dollar vs rupee thing. Cuz instead of having a myocardial infarction at the price conversion. is eem to be in a tempral state of bliss as to how "cheap" everything is. Its when the billing takes place that my cerebral calculator does the necessary conversion and devastation strikes me. *gasp*.
Oh btw, I got The Sims 2 Deluxe Edition as a present from Porus. lol. So thats one more item thats been fulfilled on my wishlist.
I guess I'll have a brilliant time here, well I sincerely hope I do. For some reason I dont miss home. *shock and giggles at this remark*. I think I ought to create a "candid confession" module, since I always seem to be full of them.
Alright I gtg now, I'll update soon. *Executes page 3 male celebrity hollywood flying kisses to all my beloveds*
Prayag. 12月17日 Hyperventilation, Drowsiness & Last Day In India.I'm in Bombay now. I leave for Texas tonight. *tries in vain to hide excitement, anxiety, happiness & other related dramatic terminology*. Omg omg I still have to pack up those last things here & there, lock my bags, bathe, get dressed. Speaking of bags, I hate these bloody bastard airline peoplDespicae, they're so rough with the baggage, my poor new fabulous bags got scratched and stuff. Arseholes. Secondly, I think I hate teen NRIs. They're the worst lot to infest the planet. Disgusting, pitiful & stupid. So the flight yesterday from BLR-BOM was alright. There was a newly-wedded couple seated next to me. The guy kept elbowing everyone, but ofcourse, as expected, I shot him a glare & the elbowing suddenly seemed to have stopped. WOW. Apart from their annoying giggling/PDA indulging/loud voices, the journy was relatively good. About an hour later when I seemingly got bugged with them, I opened a page on the in-flight newspaper which had published a full-page article on how/what to do when your spouse cheats. *Evil glee*. lol. I, ofcourse, spread out the paper and looked at it intently. The article caught the attention of the couple and sadly they seemed disturbed. God forgive me, for I have sinned, but it was imperative to indulge in this act of sadism in order to preserve my mental peace and stability. Thanks. Anyway so after the flight, I hired a cab. On reaching home, the assholic cabbie asked me to pay him triple the fare of the meter. Yes my beloveds, I fought and i fought GOOD. Eventually, I won. *bigtime smirk*. I hate dishonest, fraudulent and money-laundering cabbies. They're an insult to the transportation industry.
I feel so extremely sleepy. I have not slept soundly in a week now. I cant wait to board the aircraft and just sleeeeeeeeeeep. Been so busy packing/running around/getting things finalised. ts been a pain, but I guess its well worth it. Tonight's FINALLY arrived. Its still hard to digest. Oh god. lol. I've worked so hard for this to materialise. Today, satisfaction and happiness belong to me. Though the ultimate orgasmic version of satisfaction will arrive the day I get m license & get into an airline, but still, none the less, this feels brilliant. Sigh. The biggest ego massage is when you prove EVERYONE wrong and succeed no matter how many people are negative about it. I've struggled with this SO MUCH, I truly truly deserve this bliss. *radiance and feel-good factor at full blast*.
Chi ya, I'll miss India, I think. *laughs shamelessly*. Oh there's another tiny bit of good news: I cleared my FAA medical. This is different from the tough medicals I underwent last month. These are super easy. Its required if one wishes to fly in the United States.
I dont know what else to ramble about, I need to go eat chicken curry now. I'll update next once I'm in the US. lol.
Prayag.
12月15日 The Superstar Is Leaving!!!! *Screams & Gasps*OMG. Tomorrow I'm leaving for Bombay. Ofcourse the highly melodramatic entry will be posted tomorrow night, but for now, I'M LEAVING!!!!! *SCREAMS AND FAKES A SPELL OF FAINTING*. I dont "buh-leev" this. hahahaha shyt shyt ok so let me rave and rant now. I'll miss Bangalore, I'll miss the AC like atmosphere of my house. I'll miss hanging out with my mom, eating chaat, annoying her and listening to her nagging. *sniff*. I'll also miss answering the landline and acting oversmart with the caller. I'll miss cursing the neighbour's dog, the traffic, the bastard auto walas, mom's food, I'll miss throwing my divo like tantrums and associated nakhras. I'll miss watching all those hindi serials and bitchimg/commenting/laughing at the madness they offer. I'll miss talking to priyanka, jessica, misbehaving with priyanka, cleaning up the house and my room. I'll completely miss sitting on my terrace and having my hallcination session. This only child syndrome is a real pain in the trachea. I'm sure in Texas there will be no multi-cuisine chef, noone to nag, noone to accept my fussy irritating tantrums. *sigh*. LOL. Such a bleddi bout of realisation. I know priyanka's reaction: "very good! bastard needs to appreciate what he has". hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhaha I love priyanka and her various tight possessions.
Omg omg I feel so fan-fucking-tastic today. I feel like the life inside of me has sprung out like a wild tigerlily. lollllllllllllllll I love this song Mauja hi Mauja from Jab We Met. Mika Singh has a HOT voice. Too bad he's a total weak-ass in other aspects. Today I was speaking with my virtual amma and since she's got a new job and all, dealing with our dear bollywood industry, it was quite a scene to see her addressing akshay kumar as "akshayji". hahahahaahahahhahahahhahahaha oh simma, you are adorable. Acha and then Mom and me are going with family friends in the evening to see this lame choir. All my fun spoilt. Pinka knows the inside story. Sorry cant elaborate. But I really wanted to ...erm....flash my new birthday present. lolllllllllllllllll
I ate loads of ice-cream with hershey's chocolate sauce. I think I'll weep like a newly wed bride tomorrow when I have to bid farewell to mother dearest. Actually my ego wont permit me to express grief in public. Ugh I'm such a overdramatic idiot. But what is life without drama I ask?! Its always been my dream and favourite visualisation to see the Victoria's Secret models walk on the roads of Bangalore. Oh imagine how the traffic wala pot-belly cops and the various commuters' reactions would be. *sits back, imagines, sniggers and continues*. oh god oh god..alessandra ambrosio is Gorgeous. Sometimes I feel that all women must be sent to a VS finishing school. *anticipates brickbats*. Okay I'm joking.
Apart from all these whims and fancies, I feel like consuming obscene amounts of alcohol. Suddenly my happy and excitement hormones are being released in full blast. This new house we shifted into a month back has been SUPER LUCKY for me. Like everything has worked out since then. The only fuck-up is that its too damn cold in here, considering the house is shrouded with trees. So like I mentioned earlier, it feels like there is an AC on full blast in the bedrooms. *frowns*.
Since November 9 I've been hearing a lot of people ranting like mad hyenas about Om Shanti Om. I dont understand whats the whole mania about. I mean, lets accept that SRK is experiencing male menopause. He's almost finished. I dont understand whats with his publicity stunts of baring abs and what-not. It doesnt even suit him. And deepika padukone should be administered a tight slap & sent home. She's dumb and boringly diplomatic. Dodgy little plastic tart. I think I ought to be a critic. I have this inborn talent to trash anything and anyone mercilessly.
Sometimes I wonder what plan God has for me. I'm sure its a super duper alpha beta gamma awesome plan, whatever it is. My latest aim in life is to open a wildlife sanctuary and I also want a pet donkey. I wanna name him Lord Duchovny. Dont you dare diss me about this I'll send the Boogie Man after you and he'll cook you while you sleep.
I'm extremely excited *duh*. This is like a whole new fantastic fabulous phase in life thats waiting to be experienced. I pledge I will bring my darlings some nice presents. I dont want to lessen the effect of "Darlings" by naming them, and second reason also being that some of you may get offended if I dont include your names in my "darling" list.
Under Pinka's enlightened light, I've started listening to Bach and other such refined pieces of music. I plan to continue with this. Sometimes I feel like I must learn an instrument, preferably the violin or the classical piano. Sigh. So many aims and so many desires.
Okay Mother Dearest is calling me. I need to go get ready now and look and feel dashing! *grins and checks self out in the mirror*
Prayag.
12月14日 2 Days More, Run-In With An Ex Adversary & Some More..I have 2 days left to do what I please/eat what I please/throw tantrums and fusses/have my way in the house/sit at my terrace in the afternoons, stare into nothingness and talk to myself/crib about how the neighbour's dog is too noisy/and much more.
I'll miss home. I'll miss the silence and peace it has to offer. The whole thing of going to Texas and living amongst strangers is SO daunting. Considering I'm not even the friendly sort. lol. shyt. Anyway, challenges must be faced, and face them I shall. head-on. *does a little jig at this new found inner courage and bravery*.
Today evening our family friends and us went out to dinner, to this eatery called The Only Place. haha, its a nice place, food was alright, continental cuisine, altogether I had a nice time. The weather was awfully chilly. Ugh. But anyway, after dinner, we went to Corner House, its this place where you get ice-cream, and as I was waiting for my Hot Chocolate Fudge, I saw someone whom I never though I would see ever again in my life. I dont wish to take this person's names, but seeing him really made me feel bitter. I felt awkward too. You know how the feeling is, when you see someone you really do not like. Considering how much trouble and bullshit that person as created for you. But ofcourse, its not that I was always the victim, I definitely created havoc for him too. But anyway, I dodged him conveniently, so I dont think he saw me. Thank God for small mercies. Anyway, to actually come face-to-face with an unpleasant fragment of the past can be quite a shyt experience.
Apart from this, I've finished 93% of my packing. Yes I believe in not keeping things for the last minute. I just hope my baggage doesnt exceed the permissible weight. I realised I always end up worrying about something or the other. Like once I worried about whether the stray near the bakery got its share of food for the day or not. Anyway, tomorrow some last-minute itsy-bitsy packing and some print-outs need to be done. I guess it should all go smoothly.
I think all I need is some perspective. Thats all, maybe the disillusionment that has inhabited me for so long has not left completely. I guess time will make everything alright. I sound so uncertain and confused, but then I guess thats what makes me human.
Sometimes I wish I could do away with some people who I feel are creating more negativity inside of me. But alas if it was that easy I wouldnt be wishing for it in the first place.
For the first time, I wish to spend my 20th birthday in solitude. *raises eyebrows and feels slightly frightened at the statement I just typed*.
I've put up new music on my space. I hope you like it. Tomorrow's gonna be another hectic day. Reality and responsibility beckons. I must take your leave. Next update by saturday night.
Prayag.
12月11日 Passing The Math Exam, Mayada & The Usual Updation.Finally, things have reached fruition. I'm extremely happy. Its showing on my face, its seeping out of every pore in my body. God has been kind.
I passed my math exam!!! I got a 50 on 100!! OMG I'm so thrilled!!!!! *sits back for a moment, revels in this new-found glory, gets back*. I leave on sunday from bangalore to bombay. And the flight to the US from bombay is on Monday, the 17th. I cant believe this is happening. I cant wait to get my hands on that aircraft's yoke and FLY. Oh the bliss thats waiting to be experienced. I'll elaborate more on that one as and when it happens...hehe..
So apart from the impending departure, I've been busy purchasing necessary stuff, finishing paperwork etc. I met my darling friend Priyanka today. We exchanged birthday presents in advance. Yes, my wish to own designer innerwear is fulfilled. LOL. Thankyou so much Pinka, I loved the boxer shorts. *xoxo*
I purchased a few books some days ago, all of them are women-centric, but what the hell I'll read what I like. Three of the books revolve around women in the middle east namely Iraq & Saudi Arabia. The lives these women lead has always intrigued me to know more about them. The best part is, the books I purchased are VERY controversial in the middle east, which makes the experience all the more better lol ;)
I finished one book already, Mayada: Daughter Of Iraq. Its fantastic really. Tragic/heart-wrenching, but REAL. Its a true story about the protagonist, Mayada AL-Askari, who lives in Iraq with her two children, under Saddam Hussein's regime. She is imprisoned one day at the Baladiyat prison on charges she is not guilty of, and thus the horrors of life in prison are revealed. Scary and disturbing. Eventually, Mayada is released, since her mother is well-connected, but sadly the same fate wasnt in the cards for the other inmates. Sometimes I think, and genuinely so, that these women in the middle east such as in Saudi Arabia etc, who lead extravagently lavish lifestyles on the outside, would actually give their right arm to taste FREEDOM. You may please access the link on the "In My Hand" module, if you wish to know more in detail about Mayada.
I also picked up a classic; Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. My mother was so pleased! haha..she feels I've finally gained some perspective as far as reading is concerned. But Anna Karenina looks formidable. Its voluminous!!! Ugh. I hope I enjoy it.
I simply love reading. I dont know why, but I could read for hours and hours, its the best of indulgences.
Things at home are smooth, much to my satisfaction. Our new part-time maid Mary is sweet. Well she's sweet because she & I have zero interaction. Thankfully she's not a shammer unlike my ex-maid cum opponent Nirmala. Czar is having a blast at dad's place in Assam. Mom is also gonna go join them in Jan. Nice nice.
I realised oflate my meals have been very vague. Like for dinner tonight I ate cake with strawberry sauce over it. I'm obsessed with learning yoga. I shall commence classes ASAP once I reach the US.
I came across PETA'S website some time ago. I read about Mars Bars, that the company which manufactures it is busy torturing innocent animals to carry out its tests. Even though Priyanka enlightens me that this practice has been going on since ages, I'm devastated. Honestly, I feel its a curse to be born as a human being. We only bring about destruction wherever we set foot. Thats all we do. All the time. Ofcourse, I'm also a contributor to this, since I eat non-vegetarian food. But maybe when the new year starts I may just take a resolution of turning vegan. I'm so fedup and sickened by this ill-treatment. I think humans deserve every single catastrophe that befalls them. *Makes horrible dutty vengeful face*.
I shall leave now, its getting late, I need to sleep, for tomorrow a lot of work needs to be finished.
Prayag.
12月2日 The Fear Of Going...Everything has been monotonously peaceful all this while since my last update. Czar has reached Assam successfully and happily this morning. Even though I miss him all the time, I cant be happier and more relieved to know that he will be healthy and happy with Dad. I'm beginning to feel horrible about leaving.
It hit me some time back that finally, I'm actually leaving in a few days. I'm feeling so uneasy. Maybe its the fear of the unknown. But I dont know. To be in an entirely different continent altogethere, with no friends, family nor czar to be close by to provide consolation, is discomforting. I'm actually scared, I duno how its going to be like to live with strangers. I feel like this is going to be yet another challenge. The feeling is finally sinking in so deep. Honestly, as much as a part of me is thrilled that I'll finally get to fly, there's this other part of me that DOES NOT WANT TO GO. There's too much of speculation/assumption/extremity going on inside of me. I'm really holding onto these last few days. My tickets are booked. I leave on the night of 17th december. There's no turning back from this. I cant afford to. I've worked hard for this. But deep down inside, personally, emotionally, I dont think I'm prepared. I still need more time. For some reason my dog's absence seems to have handicapped me. I may seem like I'm going overboard with this, but being an only child, my czar was my only support and comfort in the house. I wish I could take him with me. I dont know, but no amount of reassurance will really help me find peace. Because, ultimately, the feeling of assurance and peace comes from within. I repeat, I'm super thrilled and happy I'm going, for I will be able to fly, and help in making my professional dream come true. But at what cost? Thats what daunts me. Maybe I have become dependent on some people for constant support and guidance. Even though, there is MSN, Orkut, Facebook, but its not the same. The consolation I derive from the fact that these people are physically closeby, will be sorely missed. I'm honestly scared. Maybe revealing so much of weakness and letting my guard down like this on the blog may be risky, but I have nowhere else to vent. Maybe now I know how G felt. I want to finish flying and hurry back. I'M SCARED.
Otherwise, at home, there's an abundance of peace. Mom & me get along fine. I speak to Dad almost daily. I wash the utensils, set the house, check up documentation work, dad's bank work, its nice to be responsible. Sometimes I wish I had a sibling, for the plain reason that I dont want to be alone later in life. Argh I'm so melancholic tonight. Not cool.
Next week my math result is expected. I'm so jittery. I worked hard though, so i feel inside that I should be passing this time. I deserve to pass. Really I do.
This year has flown past. When I look back, its all been so crazy. But then, I guess everything happens for a reason, and for the best.
I really hope, ultimately, God remains on my side. For without Him I'm entirely LOST.
With a lot of promise & anxiety,
Prayag. 11月25日 Departures, The Flu & A Thousand Splendid Suns.Dad returned to assam yesterday a.k.a Saturday morning. One month since he arrived just flew past. It felt like he had just come 2 days ago, and now here he was, getting ready to return. *sigh*. This is not it, Czar is also leaving on wednesday, he's going via train to assam, to be with dad. I'm feeling horrid already. Thankfully his health has improved now, so that gastro-entritits bitch that plagued him is gone.
I'm down with the flu, since 2 days now. On friday night my hotness was overflowing and burning the bed. My dad thought I ought to be taken to the hospital, but then I heroically refused and by morning, the fever had disappeared. Though the cold and sore throat still remain. I cant wait to get rid of them too. I hate Bangalore weather. It always fluctuates so abruptly, causing me to have a relapse. Disgusting really. So much icecream is left in the fridge and sadly I cant even have it until this flu vanishes. Its not fair!
Yesterday evening my friend Sarah lent her book to me; A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini. What a MARVELLOUS book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I finished it in flat 4 hours. Amazing literally, The story revolves around the lives of Mariam & Laila against the backdrop of Taliban-Occupied Afghanistan. Even though the story is realisatically tragic, but still one cannot help but laud the endurance and perseverance that women in such situations seem to possess. To live a legitimate life when one comes from illegitimate beginnings, is truly inspiring. I loved the title as well, "A Thousand Splendid Suns", beautiful really. Khaled Hosseini is gifted, I envy him. LOL. This book actually made me realise how INHUMAN/DESPICABLE the Taliban were.. let me include an excerpt, which is a message issued by the taliban, written in various flyers, tossed into the streets of Kabul:
"Our watan is now known as the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan. These are the laws that we will enforce and you will obey:
Attention women:
Listen, Listen Well. Obey." I'm shocked, I'm devastated, I dont believe this. Neither will any other freedom/equality loving human being. To not enjoy your prerogative, to let someone else decide how you carry on with your existence, is a thought that cannot let me relate to it. To live successfully under this kind of rule, is truly, truly, miraculous. I, for one, am lucky to be born in a place like India. But then again, the universal situation as far as women are concerned, is generally the same, though varying in degrees of intensity. I dont get it, whats with society mostly pointing the accusing finger at women? Which reminds me of another line in the book, that Mariam's mother, Nana, tells her:
"Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Alwaya. You remember that, Mariam".
Its highly depressing, but its completely true. I do not pity these women, who endure so much in life, because honestly, they're stronger than most of us who are in comparatively better-off situations. I would rather look upto them, and pray that may this inequality and strife in this world end, for ultimately the whims and fancies of mankind in general, have always rained misfortune ultimately on noone, but ourselves.
You must read this book. I strongly recommend it.
Realisation: It is indeed, women, who are the stronger sex. No wonder the weaker ones who are sent down to the world are men. I do not mean to go against my gender, because thats no at all my intention. I speak for myself here, and what I think & feel. So dont take it personally. Thanks.
I must sign off now, I just received the summons from my mother dearest. I shall be back to update, soon.
Prayag.
11月21日 OMG I Got The Visa!!!! *Gasp*I got my US visa !!!!!!!!! Ok thats what even the title says but OMG!!!! lolllllllllllllllllllllll I'm very happy (like duh). I went to chennai the day before yesterday, and yesterday was the interview and stuff, and I cleared it, God bless that Visa Officer I swear. hahahahahhaa sooooo yes I dont feel any anxiety etc today. Not in the least!!! I cant wait to fly. Firstly I want to thank the following:
Thankyou: God, Dad, Mom, Czar, Porus, Priyanka, Ferzin, Monaz, Marij, Neha, Jessica, Uncle Cla, Uncle Sai, Aunt Bee, Grandma & Grandpa, Aunt Swa, Appu & Ammu, Anisha, Geeta, Aunt Sri, Krupa, Priya, Simran, & everyone else who prayed/kept me sane. lol. Really.
So now all thats left is my math result. And I'm confident of passing in that as well this time. I feel so fantastic today. Ah, Bliss. (closes eyes and teleports self to dreamland for 5 minutes).
I wanna go and eat lots of junk food, see a movie, buy stuff, and lose myself to this new-found joy. Maybe some of you may think its just a visa, but honestly, only I know what sort of tension I've been in since the last 4 months. Anyway, its all over now, and everything worked out. So Yippee Yippee Joy Joy!!
Okay so now I gotta go and eat my lunch, sleep and wash vessels in the evening. And then poor Czar has to be taken to the vet for injections too. So sad, but I love the sight of him in a muzzle. Too hilarious. lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...Okay Okay so ciao ciao for now Mom's yelling!!!
Prayag. 11月13日 The Wishlist, Czar & The Usual Updation.I've finally commenced working on my wishlist. I should be done within the next 24 hours. Interested parties who desire to give me presents on occasion of my upcoming 20th birthday on 24 jan 2007 may please keep checking my space on a regular basis. Thanks.
I think my dad is taking Czar with him to Assam. My heart breaks into a zillion pieces when I think of my poor Czar going away. Who will I harass now? Who will I sprinkle water on? On whom will I try to piggy-back on? Who will bark at all the dogs, whose gonna play with me and finally whom am I gonna lift and carry around? Shyt. I'll miss my Czar, really. Its not done you know. *Sulks*. But I guess he's better off with dad in Assam than here. That way there shall be peace in the house. (Refer to one of my previous blogs where I have explained about Mom fighting about the dog being here nd how she cant handle it alone and some other bullshit).
Things are alright otherwise. I have not been upto much. I feel so bored here. I wanna do something exciting. I wanna start flying. I wanna travel. *Taps foot impatiently*. I havent even been watching TV lately. And I've even stopped watching those daily tarot horoscope programs on Aaj Tak & Star News. This sucks. But what to do, maybe its meant to be. I've stopped watching all serials, programs, everything. Gosh, whats happening. Being sedentary is the worst. I desperately wanna play a computer game. Like maybe The Sims or GTA or some shit like that.
And something very mysterious has been happening since the past few nights. You see, my bed comprises of two mattresses one on top of the other *like duh*, so every morning when I wake up, the mattress on top, on which I'm lying, very strangely seems to slide away..you know, such that its hanging out of the bed. Its like someone pushed it or moved it. i wonder who. If its that new part-time maid whose upto this, then she SO HAD IT. lol. I miss that ex maid a.k.a opponent Nirmala sometimes. Even though she was the biggest shammer & had a temper problem, but still she was kinda ok. Yesterday I washed all the vessels while my folks were out, and I finally realised how tough it is, to wash vessels. So I made some new rules, like how everyone has to was their own dishes, and stuff like that.
This morning my father screamed my name so loud while I was asleep, that I almost had a paralytic stroke. No jokes. So I reprimanded him. Sometimes I feel that my mom nags me a bit too much, but then now I'm used to it. This new colony is a bloody bore. But thank god for the peace that accompanies it.
Ok, mom's calling me, I better scoot now and eat lunch. I'll come back and create a new module for my wishlist and put it up. Yippee Yippee Joy Joy!
Prayag. 11月12日 Despair, *Ugh*.Things are going fine. Nothing has gone against me. And still since today morning I feel this unexplainable despair within. Its a feeling so deep that I dont know where it starts and where it ends. Ugh. I'm bugged. After my class 1 medicals, I went and saw Bourne Ultimatum with pinka and her sister the following morning. We went and saw 2 friends of ours and posed. We also acted like complete rockstars and displayed our flamboyance. The next night I went with pinka and her sister for pizza. Thats it. I've been fine since thursday evening basically. But still, since today morning, i'm feeling frustrated and upset. These mood swings are the shit. I wanna honestly honestly take a holiday. I want to go away somewhere ALONE. And i wanna switch off my cell fone and stay away from internet. Suddenly I feel like detoxifying from mankind. I want everything to change. There are certain people who irritate me even though they haven done anything. Thinking about certain things bug me. I dont know, everything and everyone seem so annoying suddenly. I seek divine intervention. I duno whats wrong with me really my moods are so unpredictable and scary. Right now I feel like sneaking out of my house in the dead of the night, with my passport, reach the airport and flying away to some unknown place with some strangers. Suddenly life seems to be wanting me to take drastic measures. I'm confused. This endless cerebral melodrama never seems to end. Someone help. This is getting DIFFICULT.
Prayag. 11月9日 Medicals Cleared..!Finally, my medicals are done with and i cleared them. I'm super happy today. I cant express how much. Even though there was a little shock yesterday due to some silly EEG report but then at the end everythin worked out fine and I cleared the medicals. Phew!! This calls for a few dedications:
Thankyou God, for sailing me through the medicals and looking out for me always.
Thankyou Dad, for running around non-stop since yesterday with my reports and getting them organised for me, and making sure I slept well & reached on time.
Thankyou Mom, for making sure my morning tea, breakfast, dinner is kept ready, for keeping the geyser on, so that I could get ready and reach on time.
Thankyou Czar, for comforting me last night when I was upset about my report.
Thankyou Priyanka, for the continuous moral, spiritual support & for helping me stay practical and rational at the same time. Without you maybe I dont know what I would do.
Thankyou Porus, for calling me without fail from America everyday and consoling/comforting me that everything will be fine. You're indispensible.
Thankyou, to everyone of you, who prayed for me.
I'm eternally grateful.
Tonight I shall enjoy blissful sleep, something which I have been deprived of since a long time.
I also pray for my friend, whom I dont wish to name, since his medical report has a little problem, I hope he is looked out for as well.
I shall update tomorrow night. Thats all I had to say for now. I wish to go and let myself wander in this peace and happiness.
Prayag.
11月6日 The Fight, Medicals Tomorrow & Some More Ramble.Today happened to be quite a SHYT day. Like really, the highlight being the fight that mom started over Czar (My 3 yr old awesome fantabulous Golden Retriever- pedigreed btw). The day commenced at 11 am, I cleaned up the house a little here and there, ate lunch, washed the dishes, went for my bath, and finally I was all set and done by 4.45pm. Ate some nice bakery thing from Thom's Bakery, umm, sat online for a wee bit, and then at about 6pm, I heard loud unpleasant noises in the living room. And there was my mother superior, fighting about how she wanted my dad to give Czar away cuz reportedly she cant be taking care of him as he has 10 years of life left. I was shocked, can you imagine!? So yes, I threw myself into the fight and BANG BANG BOOM BOOM!!! Conclusion: My dog means the world to me and I love him to bits. There aint no way I'm giving him away. So I finally told my dad to take him to Assam with him, so that everyone can be at peace and my mother can keep her mouth shut. Family Melodramas are always so taxing and full of rubbish.
My medicals are scheduled for tomorrow, *gasps non stop*. I'm nervous, yes, but I'm positive that everything shall be fine. This medical is really really important. But then, all's well that ends well. So yup!
In other news, there isnt anything significant worth mentioning. Apart from maybe how I concluded today that dish-washing makes my lower back pain like crazy. And also maybe how I may have slight OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder incase any of you ignorant ones didnt know. Also, I like the new colony, its so peaceful. And all the inhabitants seem to mind their own businesss which is super. Unlike the first colony Manekshaw Enclave where I lived, where all everyone did was to play colony politics and poke their ugly noses into one another's shyt. Whatever though, atleast that horrendous phase is gone.
I just hope I get done with the meds super quick. We still have not got a full-time maid. I'm not surprised, its just been 6 days since we shifted. you know I was thinking of approaching these TV channels with an offer to produce a reality show based on me interviewing maidservants and taking their auditions. And then the winner gets to work at my place while I enjoy the glam and glory of stardom and fame. LOL. Okay too much I know, but sounds cool, I think.
My comp is behaving so awesomely since I reformatted it. I just need to figure out how to install the driver for the webcam via internet.
Oh and one bout of realisation I had today: I think I've started hating orkut, its just so blah. I prefer facebook now. haha, but then there shall soon be a time when something newer will take dominance and I'll despise facebook as well. Who knows, the madness of social networking sites just doesnt seem to end!!! A few minutes back, this acquaintance whom I have the utter misfortune of knowing, sends me a "message" on facebook asking me why I sent someone an invite when I dont really approve of that person. Now this particular person who sent me that message happens to be a highly nosy/curious/lifeless/assholic rhino. Oh wait, she's super ugly as well. LOL. Anyway I replied, telling her how I dont understand why it concerns her, and some more dissing shtuff. I wasnt outrightly rude, but I made sure I didnt sound nice in the least. I despise her with a passion so intense that if I could convert it into poison she would die just thinking of it. Wow that was nice!
So thats it, for now, I gotta sleep early tonight, and wake up early tomorrow morning, get ready and leave. My hypochondriac alter personality is at work. I'm wondering if I ought to have a bath tomorrow or should i just wash and leave? Considering it will be early morning I dont wanna catch a cold and then get my happiness ruined by the docs. Or whether I should lower the car's windows or not? And whether if I ought to have a double dosage of medicine tonight? Shyt Shyt. So much tension. not cool. I shall update tomorrow fo sho. Pray for me and wish me luck. Thanks.
Prayag. |
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